The Only Woman He Loved: the True Story of Wyatt Earp’s First Wife
Aurilla Sutherland
A tall, handsome stranger brushed by her as she sat on a wooden bench inside of a building. It was a warm day, with plenty of sunshine streaming through the windows. She smiled and looked to see if her family seated next to her noticed anything unusual. They were busy chatting with others. She only saw his lean back as he walked past her bench. He left a fragrant musky scent in his wake, and she lifted her face and deeply inhaled the pleasant smell. Not your typical male that only washes himself when he wants to, bringing suffering to his family with his odor. Not this fellow.
He sat down a few benches in front of her. She secretly hoped that he would turn around so she could get a glimpse of his face. Anyone that smells nice must be good looking she thought. She was at church, waiting for the service to start. Seated with her parents and siblings, she could not help but think of this new stranger in town. Such a small town and everyone knows your business.
After church service there was a luncheon provided by the women of the church, including Urilla, or Rilla as her close friends would call her. The men lined up the tables while the women put their hand sewn table cloths to just cover the much used tables. Food came pouring out from a small room in the church and placed carefully and in order on the serving tables. Picnic tables were ready for the hungry eaters. Serving her top notch biscuits, the stranger came over to her. She looked up at him, smiled a timid smile, looked back down and proceeded to serve this handsome stranger her biscuits. She gently placed a biscuit on his plate he held out for her. She was too afraid to speak and hoped he would move quickly down the line so she could look at him again without him knowing.
He asked for another biscuit without even trying the first one. He introduced himself as Wyatt and asked who she was. Nervously she said her name, Rilla, but it came out as a choked whisper. The men in line beside Wyatt were telling him to move his keister cause they were hungry. He smiled at her and thanked her for the biscuits and moved on. She looked up and turned her head in the direction he moved. To her amazement, he was also looking at her as he walked away with his two biscuits. And so started a love affair that was short lived.
Welcome to my “Women of the West” series! I recently saw a video by chance on a social media platform, depicting a woman of the west and the hardships she went through. I was touched by it. You may have read or heard about the “olden times” or “pioneer history,” but have you REALLY thought about the women? We have heard about Jesse James, Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday, Billy the Kid, but what about their wives or girlfriends or something else? There were probably good times for these women, like when they started having children, or met the man of their dreams, not necessarily an outlaw or cowboy, but just a woman that craved living in the west and making a new life for herself.
Join me in this series as I start with the wives of Wyatt Earp, but not all of them were his wives. I will have four stories about the women in Wyatt’s life, then I will find someone else to share about. The above story is fictionalized, but based on what I have been researching that could have happened or even a small part of it. As I continue our story today, lets get into who this woman was and why she was Wyatt’s one and only woman!
*One thing I have noticed about history is that it is sometimes not accurate. Darn internet! Wish they had it back then for accuracy, but even that could be disputed. So I am doing my best for accuracy, using some references listed below.*
Aurilla Sutherland was born in 1850 and was raised in Lamar, Missouri. During this time, Missouri was considered the “west” as the other states west of Missouri were not states yet and some were territories. Aurilla’s family owned a hotel in Lamar and were successful. She met Wyatt in 1869 at the tender age of 19. Women would get married young back in those times, so maybe she was looking for Mr. Right.
He happened to step into her life at the right time. Some people say they met in church and some others in the family hotel. Regardless, they met and fell in love. At this time Wyatt Earp was 21 and a law abiding citizen. He was a constable and living life right. They got married in January 1870 (that was quick!) that brought much joy to both families, especially to Wyatt and Aurilla. Wyatt bought a house with some land for $75 in Lamar and they settled down for what they thought would be many happy decades of wedded bliss and the sound of little feet running around the house.
Aurilla got pregnant after they were married. Back in those times it could be hard to carry a child to full term and raise him to adulthood. People died young. Diseases were prevalent. The first part of her pregnancy was fine and dandy, no problems. I can visualize the happy couple swooning with thoughts of raising many children on their homestead, looking forward to making their dreams come true.
Unfortunately, it would not be. Aurilla died before their child was born. Some say it was typhoid, others say it was during childbirth, which was common.
Wyatt was devastated.
If you were married to the love of your life and suddenly they died, how would you feel?
Wyatt listed the house for sale shortly afterward. The house was for his wife and kids, not just him. Aurilla’s brothers blamed Wyatt for their sister’s death. He eventually got into fights at bars and just could not deal with the fact the love of his life and his precious child were gone forever. He packed up and left, but not only leaving Lamar, Missouri. He left his life as a law abiding citizen and a constable and became a criminal.
Do you think it was cause of his wife’s death? Or do you think deep down inside he wanted to live life on the wild side, but a beautiful woman changed his mind?
References:
Harris, Karen. 2026. The Wives of Wyatt Earp, from Aurilla Sutherland to Sadie Marcus
Nowak, Pamela. 2021. Aurilla Sutherland, Wyatt’s First Wife