Alone, But Not Alone

Sitting in a circle of women, as they chatter among themselves, I am trying to say something, anything, but the words do not come out. But fear does. The fear of being in a room with people and I have nothing to share, nothing to say, even of importance to them. I feel utterly alone. How could I feel so alone and yet, be in a room full of women? 

Have you felt that way before? It is a hard place to be in, feeling the loneliness underneath your skin, coming to the surface, exposing it for all to see. I want to shirk back in a corner and hope that no one sees me for who I really am. I think from time to time we get those anxious feelings, feelings of loneliness, of being left out in normal conversations. It is not a nice feeling.  

I would like to share a beautiful story of how a lonely woman was never alone. 

She moved far away from her family and friends. She wanted a fresh start, possibilities, maybe even find love again as she was a widow. She knew this would be a difficult journey as she transitioned from one country and their beliefs to another country with vastly different beliefs than her own. She might be a social outcast, looked down upon, frowned at or maybe even questioned as to why she would move to this place. She could be lonely, but not alone as she had an important woman in her life and Someone else directing her steps. 

Ruth knew the costs of this new life. The loneliness she would have to endure. Not to be invited to parties or gatherings with women of her own age. But she was willing to push and persevere in this new life, maybe even have an adventure. Ruth knew she would not be alone. She embraced a new faith which gave her hope. This hope had helped to heal her broken heart after losing her precious husband. The God of the Israelites was now her God, bringing her strength to carry on each day while she went into the fields to gather leftover barley. The most beautiful thing about this story is God brought her a wonderful, God-fearing husband, to give her companionship, love many times over and a beautiful son. 

Friend, you are not alone either. Ruth was an amazing woman willing to sacrifice everything she had to go to a new place, adventurous, yet maybe, just maybe a little fearful. Fitting in would be a problem for her, but she pushed on. Not only that, she believed that God was with her, even on the lonely days. She trusted Him to provide in her companionship with Him. She relied and trusted in God to fill in those gaps of loneliness and bring her contentment. 

Is this where you are at friend? I understand as I have been there many, many times. There is a verse that has brought me great comfort over the years: 

“So do not fear, for I am with you; 
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you and help you; 
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) 

When I feel lonely, especially with a lot of people, I like to repeat this verse in my mind, to remind me of God’s promise to us all. Not only that, but Jesus has promised us that He will be with us until the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). It is hard to be lonely, to feel alone in a room full of people. But what I would like you to do is visualize Jesus walking alongside of you. He is taking you by the hand, guiding you where you need to go, even in the lonely places, and He is filling in those lonely places with His companionship with you. Will you trust God today to comfort and guide you?  

Friend, you are not alone. 

As for me, when I am with a group of women, I like to find someone that is alone, maybe has similar fears of large gatherings and go to talk with her. I have met some interesting women that way!